Skinny girls

as someone recovering from an eating disorder i hate when girls are skinny and say they eat whatever they want and never gain. while i'm trying to maintain normal, they're eating 3000 calories a day and not gaining.

'a watched pot never boils'
They never knew quite why it was true when they said it over many decades. Perspective, its all about perspective. 'time flies when you're having fun'. Sure time is fleeting when you need it. When you're waiting for your pot to boil, a minute is an hour. Life can pass by in a day and one hour can take a lifetime. Perspective. From my perspective at this very moment time is moving at a moderate pace. Yesterday it was dragging its heels like a child on the way to church. Time wanted me to wait, to move slowly. Time didn't want me to go see my friends. When i was with my friends, the clocks skipped an hour. And its all perspective. In the century-wide view, all time passes the same. A minute is only a minute, an hour only an hour, however to us lowly creatures any measure of time seems irrelevant (unless you have a meeting to go to). These measures and tics all seem so changing and fleeting. Time passes differently for every living thing. The moment before you're married takes a lifetime to pass. To an old man with nowhere to be and no worries, time is measured bt his own desires. To a businessman with everywhere to be all at once, time is the enemy. Everyone has their own perspective and if you change it slightly, time is irrelevant. Think about that.

I love bad movies i keep buying bad movies to watch. I am addicted to bad movies. I like the fake deaths and the ridiculous plots. The deaths are so fake. The blood is terrible and falling is bad. They flinch when they fall. Or they die then you see them breath. The best ones have an overly complicated plot where all kinds of things are going on at once i absolutely love that. It makes me happy. Although some of the ones with see-through plots are good too

I love b-rate horror films they are awesome. Crazy and funny films that are supposed to be scary. They really aren't. Its crazy. Who really thought this was a good film? Somebody wrote this thinking it was going to be great. Somebody thought they could make a movie with no budget and the public would find it great. These movies are the dollar movies at walmart an such, i love the plots and how complicated they are supposed to be. I see right through the plots most of the time.

College registration, permits, fees, transcripts, financial aid, stress. These are all things i am having trouble with. My life is so hectic. I can barely find time for a decent meal, much less time to workout. Bleh. I wish it were easier to find time or manage it because i have so much to do and i cannot get it all done. With class and social life and all the deadlines i need to meet, ugh, so much stress

Oh by the way, don't worry about me. My eating disorder is over, i am in counseling now. So don't worry about the 'cry for help' thing you think is going on. I see a therapist and i am healing. So this was not a cry for help it was an outburst over the stupidity of the people like i use to be. They hurt themselves and i wanna stop it. Cuz maybe i care too much.

Pro ana and mia sites. these websites encourage anorexia and bulimia. They show pictures of these bone thin people who they portray as beautiful. This is so hard to deal with for me. I use to look like that. I gave that up a long time ago. I eat now i have to stay normal. I eat and i keep it down. These sites make me so mad. I learned about them from a book i'm reading about eating disorders. People are so dumb. I really hope these people realize how stupid it is and how much harm they're doing. My throat still hurts every time a sneeze, cough, hiccup or anything. It is so torn up. Can you imagine coughing up blood with just a normal little cough? I have acid reflux, hmm i wonder why. Geez stop being so dumb. Sorry. I've gotten help. I'm better now. I realized how stupid it was. I just wish everyone could recover. Its a disease and there really is no cure.